I often think how can a father not feel utterly in awe of the birth of his children? At times I feel as if I have flown to some other exotic, lush new planet far away. I am orbiting around, waiting to land to meet my new children and begin my new exciting life. For me, this is the ultimate experience of my life so far, by far.
I have not found my passion in life. I do not have a career. I have not pursued my dreams. I am not even 100% sure what my dreams are still. I have lived an amazing life and done many interesting things but all pale in comparison to this. I write this, knowing that being a father does not complete a man's life. I was fine with not having children if that was my path. All lives and experiences are amazing miracles. Bringing forth life though is a miracle I am grateful to get to experience.
And so here I am, in a really interesting space in my life right now. I am about two weeks away from the birth of my children. The fact that they are identical twins is beyond amazing to me. I never imagined it as a possibility. I even (too) quickly dismissed the idea when K was telling some friends we might have twins, a couple days before we found out, in the name of being realistic. "We need to be realistic with people", I said. Nice one. K likes to point this one out to me occasionally. I am two weeks away from being responsible for the lives of two helpless humans that I helped create. I hope to foster in my daughters an awe of life in all it's beauty, danger, fragility, and power. I hope their wonder and lust for life burns strong everyday of their lives. It does for me.
Listen to one of my favorite songs below. It always makes me feel the strange beauty of life.
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