Couvade

Couvade is the French word "to hatch". It is also known as "sympathetic pregnancy". Basically, some men develop pregnancy symptoms during their partner's pregnancy: things like an enlarged belly, intense hunger, lethargy and vomiting. Apparently, in some places a long time ago men actually used to be the ones that took to bed during or immediately after birth and were given the care and attention usually given to women these days. Some of these men also acted out pregnancy symptoms. The actual person giving birth was regarded as the one second in need. Men's needs came first. Fun times for women.

One of my favorite things to do with my wife early on in the pregnancy was to moan, "Ahh. My couvade. Ohh. It hurts." whenever she asked me to do something. The truth is that my belly has grown a bit during her pregnancy. So, if couvade can also be defined as eating lots of vanilla ice cream then I certainly have it.
There is also artificial couvade in the form of the pregnancy suit. See below.

Swimming

Early mornings might be my favorite time to swim.
The light and air are are soft.
Only a few people, gliding and splashing
with quiet hellos and smiles.

Swimming is a break from the constant pull of gravity.
The heart loves the water. The weightlessness helps it move
the blood througout the body.
If you are pregnant, it is great for reducing swelling.
But most importantly, it lifts the spirit.

Random Images, Summer 2008 -- ATX

34th week sonogram results

woo hoo! The results are in. Our babies are fabulous!
Here's the stats:
Heart rate:
Baby A -- 144
Baby B -- 157
Weight:
Baby A -- 4lbs 10oz
Baby B -- 4lbs 9 oz

They are practicing breathing, moving well, still head down, and at least one of them has hair! We did have a little start when she showed us Baby A's profile and her nose was all smushed looking. I thought, uh oh. That's not good. But, thankfully K asked and it's because of the the angle of the profile pic. It was showing the full front of the nose so it looked strange.

Good job K! on another great check up.

The fine line between ass kicking and inspiration

So the missus is getting a little swollen. Has been for a few weeks. It's damn uncomfortable for her as you can imagine and just overall makes her feel nasty. Our OB office basically said it's normal and that she should be swimming and keeping off her feet. The swimming didn't happen much but she has been good about resting. However the swelling is still there and has worsened some over the past week.

Today we visited our midwife, Marimikel. It was probably the best visit we've had, in my opinion. Let's just say K learned what the line between ass kicking and inspiration is. I did too because I am always right there in the room. I am fully invested. The fine line was crisscrossed a few times and some tears were shed.

Basically we've been letting our diet slip a bit and today was probably the low point: smoothie (very healthy!), toast with jam, toast with peanut butter and then these nasty little cheese filled egg roll things. Marimikel always asks what we've been eating and her response was, "That's horrible." She took K's blood pressure and it was 140/80. This is way higher than it has ever been. We usually visit the OB office in the morn and blood pressure tends to be lower earlier in the day so we had never seen it that high.

Anyway, she really lit into K. "Damn girl! You've gained x pounds and your blood pressure is way high. This has got to change. Now! Otherwise you are looking at getting induced because of hypertension." It was a little tough to watch but we're adults and that is what we pay Marimikel for: to tell it like it is and not "f" around. We want her to do whatever it takes to help K have a healthy vaginal birth for both our girls.

I took the rest of the day off and we went on a shopping run for, Chlorophyll, skull cap and passion flower tincture, Epsom salts and loads of veggies, chicken and turkey. The bottom line is that we've been eating way too much salty and fatty foods and K's extra weight gain, swelling and high blood pressure are the result. We have a challenge to get the swelling down and reduce her weight and blood pressure.

I am inspired from our meeting today because all the health recommendations (most, at least) apply to me as well. I need to lose a good 10-15 lbs and up my vegetable intake and exercise more.

I am so thankful to have the kind of guidance we receive from Marimikel. We have very competent doctors but they more focused on healthy babies, which is good of course. Marimikel's focus is healthy, natural, vaginal birth AND healthy babies. Anything standing in the way of that is going to get a serious ass kicking.

Removing the veil

I have this recurring thought in my mind about removing the veil. The veil separates the non-father world from the father world. The birth of my two daughters will remove this veil. I will transform into a different person. I will be in a place that has been obscured from my view.

I often think how can a father not feel utterly in awe of the birth of his children? At times I feel as if I have flown to some other exotic, lush new planet far away. I am orbiting around, waiting to land to meet my new children and begin my new exciting life. For me, this is the ultimate experience of my life so far, by far.

I have not found my passion in life. I do not have a career. I have not pursued my dreams. I am not even 100% sure what my dreams are still. I have lived an amazing life and done many interesting things but all pale in comparison to this. I write this, knowing that being a father does not complete a man's life. I was fine with not having children if that was my path. All lives and experiences are amazing miracles. Bringing forth life though is a miracle I am grateful to get to experience.

And so here I am, in a really interesting space in my life right now. I am about two weeks away from the birth of my children. The fact that they are identical twins is beyond amazing to me. I never imagined it as a possibility. I even (too) quickly dismissed the idea when K was telling some friends we might have twins, a couple days before we found out, in the name of being realistic. "We need to be realistic with people", I said. Nice one. K likes to point this one out to me occasionally. I am two weeks away from being responsible for the lives of two helpless humans that I helped create. I hope to foster in my daughters an awe of life in all it's beauty, danger, fragility, and power. I hope their wonder and lust for life burns strong everyday of their lives. It does for me.

Listen to one of my favorite songs below. It always makes me feel the strange beauty of life.

Love Is Stronger Than Death

The belly, the steering wheel and not loving cars

Today is the last day K is allowed to drive, our decision. When she got in the car to go get her hair did (I love saying that for some reason) she could only fit her index finger between belly and steering wheel. She is 33 1/2 weeks but measuring 41 weeks! The seat can't go back anymore because she would not be able to reach the pedals. So, no more driving for K. All she has to do now and rest and grow those babies.

I do most of the driving anyway so it's not much of a change. We got a Honda Odyssey because with the car seats I can't fit comfortably in the Accord. I'm not a car lover so "love" isn't normally a word I associate with cars but we really like the thing. It has the double automatic sliding doors and these funky automatic flap windows in the back. Gadgets! yay!

I have zero concern regarding the "cool factor" of a car. Cars are just really expensive tools. My favorite car is not even a car. It's a truck. I just love knowing that I have a vehicle that at any moment I can haul a 1/2 ton pallet of grass if need be. My second favorite car is a bike. Then a wheel barrow. Then a dolly. Now, I do love dollys. My dolly is my back's best friend.